OK, So I'm a Little Slow, but amused ntl.

From Saldef.net.

From CafePress.com.

Marketing? ... Anyone?

So, why-oh-why would one call it a Flammable Safety Cabinet? Paging Mr. Carlin. Mr. Carlin, there's a call on the line for you.

Here, Watch This!

Mom Does Not Usually Share My Proclivity for the Vernacular

This conversation took place on Dec. 23, 2008.

Me: Sorry I've been short today. It's hard right now, keeping up a happy face when I have no interview at MLA. Sure, I get to go to San Francisco, tour about, see some friends, which is peaches; but good God, this trying not hope, and then hoping anyway, and then nothing. This is about as Zen as I get about it. I try not to get attached to the possiblility of a job, but then I do. Just sucks sometimes.

Fleur de Bretagne: Well ... honey, I say you finish the two books this spring, and then just shit-can the whole thing! Go to Europe for a month or two, see your cousins, and reimagine yourself. It's more emotional trouble than it's worth.

Me: Shit-can? (which, as a verb, is hyphenated)

Fleur: Well, I mean it.

(I'm feeling MUCH better about the whole sitch after That!)

The White Gen X Male Turns 40, Money to Be Made in 4th Dimension, Nation Sad Enough to Grow Up

The Onion may be one of the world's greatest sources of accurate social criticism.

(which that the $ is the 4 key is just bonus rich)

Given the Sheer, Heart Freezing, Tendon Contracting Terror, Why Bother?

I could survive for 57 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor Props to Princess, and Trauma Queen for spotting this. And, I may have lied on the last question, there's really no way to know, no is there?

Humor Sent This Way, Now That

A stamp most people could use.

A video lampooning corporat-iverse's inability to create.

A Leggo installation project worthy of the ages.

And, why NASA is so cool. Anyone take pics of clouds out airplane windows like I do? Well, how about out the window of the Space Shuttle! -- Not humor, just awesome!

Happy Day.

The Golden Mean

Fleur and I were idly gazing catalogues last night. We do this sometimes and comment on the products (that's clever, why?, they want what for that faux antique chest???). So, then this:

ME: Hey, there's a green tea concentrate in here. Says one dropper full is equal to the antioxidant benefits of 15 cups of green tea.

FLEUR: Sounds pretty good.

ME: But, like, in 8 0z of water, you drink a concentrate of 15 CUPS of green tea!!! You'll be healthy, but awake forever and ever. (we like our sleep in this crew)

FLEUR: Well, tea only has like 3/4ths the caffeine of coffee.

ME: Yah, that's still, like, 12 cups of coffee!!!

FLEUR makes pained face as she imagines being trapped in that buzz.

Note: neither us really knows the coffee :: tea caffeine ratio; nor do we care, being avid, snooty drinkers of both; but I think you take the my point.

Note: the propaganda for the tea-concentrate said nada about being decaf (since decaf-ing tea negates lots of the antioxidants). Just shows a pic of a full dropper poised over an 8 oz Evian bottle, which inspired the nonsensical conversation.

Scattergories Meme

Answer with word/short phrase. No using your name for the boy/girl names.

Your Name: Si
4 letter word: Sigh
Boy's name: Solomon
Girl's name: Sally
Occupation: Security Mercenary
Color: Scarlet
Something you wear: Sass
Beverage: Sassafrass Tea
Food: Sushi
Something found in a bathroom: Scents
Place: San Salvador
Reason for being late: Sex
Something you shout: Salutations!

Random Error

According to this gemology webiste (nevermind): "The word 'sapphire' is an ancient name of uncertain origin; it possibly is derived from the Hebrew word "sappir" or the Sanskrit word "sanipruja" (dear to Saturn).

If you think Sanskrit has the word Saturn in it (as opposed to say a word for Saturn), then no wonder the origin is uncertain. Is it the theology, astronomy, translation, or grammar that went sideways here?

UPDATE: Please see the comments, where I am kindly schooled on my own intellecutal limitations. Also, Rings-Things.com is, in fact, a pretty awesome site in that area.

Subprime Primer

Thanks to Shane for locating some humor in the humorless. Watch this from The Big Picture.

This Just In

Men with high testosterone levels tend to be irrational negotiators.

Nooooh, surely not!
No, really, there's been a study. See Harper's Findings this month. Researchers in Siberia are hoping to clone a mammoth. Yep, found an icy one with an eyeball and some hair. Now, what, boys and girls, are we going to do with the (stress: the) mammoth?

UPDATE:
1. Stress it to see whether it rampages like its descendants: elephants. (very likely)
2. Tour it about with Ringling Bros. (and also 1)
3. Interbreed it with Someother Huge Mammal for kicks, or agri-research.
4. Give small children rides on it. (and also 1)
5. Re-create it, stick it in Alaska, study it to learn about fckall, and then kill it.
6. Clone lots of mammoths and offer them in canned hunts in Texas.
7. Clone lots of mammoths, up-armor them, and send them through the hot spots in Baghdad.
8. Grow it, kill it, stuff it, stick it in the Smithsonian.
9.Put it in a room with some unarmed, high testosterone men and teach them about negotiation.
10. Let it live at my house, because that. would. be. so. cool!

In any case, this will not go well for the mammoth.

Dear Science, The Mammoth is extinct. Has been for a long time. This might be a good thing. Stop this and figure out how to save what is still here and which probably ought not go extinct just because the Aquarians couldn't really get it together. -- Thank you, Planetary Inhabitant

OK, Safe to Visit

For those of you for whom the lure of inhabiting a Turner painting, a Rockwellian little town with sin nearby, and my company were not enough: we have a working hot tub again. So, it's OK for you to come visit now.

But, you will have to pick a time when I am not A) writing like a Fiend whipped by Angels, or B) out of town. That, my dears, will be a trick.

I've seen Texas, and Oregon, and New York City, and Chicago, and most of Between or Near. You have not seen this. Get moving.

Subtly yours, PRSC.

Funny, Ouch

Pearls Before Swine. Oh, that's a hard place to be. .... Reminds me of the description of thieves in one of the Disc World books, something like: they walked inconspicuously, so inconspicuously as to have yellow neon signs above them that said, "We are being inconspicuous." Fwah. Or, was that really in a Pratchett novel? Hmm.

I offer this in lieu of actual communication. I'm sort of communicated out today, and am now going off to play with I Ching and think. Because serious thinking also seems to be off the list. So, I'm kinda stuck. Nothing that some quiet distraction and a good walk won't fix.

My sister-girl Karen is moving today. Everyone send her calm organizing vibes for the next week. She'll need 'em.

Guess My Favorite

Karen with the mad interview know-how sent this.

So, which do you think is my fave?

quiz time

getting back from the undiscovered country this morning was not easy. i return to discover that:

Who Should Paint You: Salvador Dali

You're a complex, intense creature who displays many layers. There's no way a traditional portrait could ever capture you!

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

sure, because i don't like Dali all that much, so bonus complexity for me. (in a way that totally doesn't matter) let's see what else the Wise Wizard Web can divine: like this phrase "ladies and gentleman, there is nothing to worry about, but please keep your heads down." oh yes, i like that. ok, so my secret inner element is Earth:

The Element of Earth
You are the bearer of the Earth. Earth is the most powerful and influential of the elemental signs. You behold great wisdom, and you could even say, you have an engineering or inventive mind. You ask yourself "How does this work?", with things pertaining to daily ideals, instruments, relationships, and people. You are very practical and stable, borderline on the perfectionist side. Cautious and insightful, you always leave a safety net close at hand. You know responsibilities and priorities, making sure that life will run as smoothly as possible. You are a lover of the arts, and of fine materials. You are very determined, going great lengths to achieve your goals, and are always seeking to know and understand. Because you are the bearer of the Earth, you have a natural green thumb, and also a way with animals and children. Things to be wary of: You tend to have a cynical nature about you, that turns people off, Earth elements have a tendency to get involved in violent situations that have to do with love or money, have a tendency to interfere, critical nature, sometimes unemotional, coldness, or reserve, and are very stubborn and possessive.

according to testerific, i will

How Will You Die?

You Will Drown Water is not your best friend. You should just stay away from it.

How do you compare? Take this test! Tests from Testriffic

which, is poetic since i love the water and drowning is The Way i don't want go. you know, that moment, when you sort of Decide to inhale again? no thanks. before completing a whole cup of coffee, let's see about that later in the day. and now, for some time spent on other people. see above.

Best __________ in the History of Earth

What's your Best _________ in the History of Earth? For today, mine is the Moleskine notebook. I bought a pocket sized one before leaving the Megapolis, charmed by the history of the thing, the integrity of its reincarnation. On the site is a pic of one owned by Van Gogh. It reminds of the shoe he up and paints in Vincent and Theo. Hunting to order a new one, I discovered this little fun, The City Notebooks (links on the homepage). Anyone wanna do a year of mapping and noting your city, your experiences in it, overhearings, conversations, discoveries, reveries, places where you think X should be with you, transports out of body? A sort of Situationist International walkabout, with or without the derangement of the senses? That could be fun-fun.

Get Your Kicks ...

Official Site. For those who prefer the eco/health conscious version: bike it.
My version: sans catalytic converter, you know, doing my bit for climate change. (this is a pleasure we will have to forego in order to save ourselves -- can't have change w/o change) Still, I say to my conscience, look at all the shiny cars.... The weather: 82 F, sunny and dry. Yet another bit of pronoia at work ...

On Route 66. The Mother Road, on which, thanks be, I learned to drive. And which, is on a list of the 100 most endangered historic or national monuments in the world. So, in a celebrity smack down between History and the Environment, for whom to root?

(some geeks dress up for Star Wars conventions, i dress up for 66 Festivals [not that this was a stretch or anything])

Come visit, my dear hearts. I won't be here forever.

Quiz, Anyone?

I'm a 44. Go discover your true self, your really real self, the self that has eluded you like a nymph running from Apollo. It only takes 2 minutes to have all the insight you will ever, ever need. -- And I love these little things.

A 44 means, to Dr. Phil:

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

It's official -- I am not intimidating. You hear that? Not. Intimidating. Y'all relax.

What one says

Subjects (people) goes the concstructivist argument, are shaped ("totally") by the forces supporting and impinging on them in their enviroment: familial, social, historical, liguistic, so forth and so on. This is partly true, just as the foundationalists believe that there is a fundamental human nature (good/bad) of which one's personality is a more or less mysterious but wonderous variation. Also, partly true. Evidence:

In the city, one does not blithely say (as if remarking on an almost daily event): "Mom, the raccoon's in the car again."