Dear Congressman Foley

Mr. Foley:

Sir, if it is true that you were the victim of a sexual predator as a child, my heart breaks for you. That we still live in a world in which people use their sexuality to satisfy their desire for power breaks my heart, and for you as much as anyone who suffers under that fantasy.

I will hope that the treatment you will now undergo for your alcoholism will be successful, and that in it you will find the peace and self-love the bottle can never give. I will hope that in your treatment you will face down the demon planted in your by your molestor. The only way to do that is to face it squarely. I wish you courage in that fight.

I hope too, when you are clear of the self-pity and the selfishness these demons encourage in you, you will apologize to the boy or boys to whom you made sexual advances. What you did was predatory, and very nearly a crime. It requires the making of amends.

I suppose that the position to which you rose was your own contradictory way of fighting those demons indirectly. I suppose that you wanted to stop other predators from doing to children what was done to you. There is honor and love in that act, Senator. I applaud you. But, you must be the change you want to see. And you must know that if you fit the profile of the predator, you got yourself in that position in order to have more access to the food your demons want. For that, Senator, I must admonish you. This is the trick of your demon: even to fight it in this indirect way is to find a way to feed it.

Get your therapy, and then think about becoming an activist against the sex slave trade. Think about effective ways that we might teach men like you, like your predator, that sex is supposed to be about gifting, and that to use it as a conduit of power and abuse is the chief of sins. Think about effective ways to get the US to really pay attention to this crime here in the US and in the world. Think about how to get in front of the act, how to teach love and sexuality in ways that don't easily grid up with domination and power. Use your redemption to benefit these others who are suffering now in ways that you might never want to imagine.

That, that Senator Foley, or some work like it, would let you love yourself. In the meantime, work on your addictions, and get used to being yourself in a healthy life.